Marmie and Diddy came home with from PetSmart with a torture device.
Diddy tried to make me sit still while he fastened the choking straps to my chest and neck.
Once it was on, I wormed and squirmed–
Fighting back with all my orange might.
My efforts proved fruitless once Diddy attached a leash to the apparatus of doom.
I could tell life as I knew it was over, so I simply gave up.
I flopped my body to the ground in defeat. I might as well have been paralyzed.
Finally, Diddy encouraged me to step out onto the porch.
While outside, I almost forgot I was being strangled. It’s rare I get the opportunity to tread within 5 feet of Marmie’s herbs!
I certainly am glad I got to venture into that fresh night air.
But overall, I remain leery of this contraption.